Look for these essential qualities in a Mediator:
Experience: Look for a Mediator who has taken the lead,
rather than be a co-mediator or been an observer. Ideally a Mediator will have mediated a wide
range of disputes & therefore is confident to facilitate many different
types of discussion. Training to be a Mediator
involves a great deal of role play facilitating discussions and honing their
skills by observing more experienced mediators.
Empathetic Listening: Trust
in a Mediator is essential. This comes through their experience in hearing all
your concerns & protecting themselves from subjectivity within a toolkit of
advanced communication techniques. Good Mediators listen very carefully without
setting their own agenda. They
understand & reflect points made without you knowing how the Mediator feels
about your comments. A good Mediator will be flexible in their approach to each
mediation & responds to the nuances of verbal & non-verbal responses
enabling a discussion to progress towards resolution.
Creating a calm environment:
Experienced Mediators know when to allow a free flow of exchanges, when
to intervene, when to focus on process & when to focus on substance. When emotions run high, a good Mediator
remains unflappable.
Positive Encouragement: A
Mediator provides the means & the pace to encourage parties to progress
positively through the issues of contention.
Subject Knowledge:
Understanding the areas of concern & ensuring these are discussed
fully is critical to a good Mediator’s facilitation of a dispute. You can receive legal advice from your
solicitor. Mediators do not advise parties & therefore
do not need to be experts in the subject in dispute. Remember whilst you may need or want legal
advice, other factors go beyond fitting legal points, so do not let other
important elements such as interests, common goals, interdependence, power, impact
on other parties, etc., get lost. A good Mediator will not miss these other elements.
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